Ghosts of Dates Past #1 (in which I write about failed attempts at dating from my past)

Once upon a time, I went on my first internet date.  It went something like this. 

I was 23(ish) years old and had recently graduated from college.  I had temporarily moved back home to live with my mom and dad, and was sharing a room with my 2-year old niece (my sister, her husband and their baby had also just moved home while they remodeled their house).  Dating was rough, obviously. 

I bravely logged onto and made a profile and within minutes was in contact with an eligible bachelor.  We began exchanging long, heartfelt emails right away.  He made me laugh.  I shared my hopes and dreams and confessed my darkest secrets to him.  Our blissful email courtship lasted nearly a month before he finally suggested meeting up.  By this time, I was pretty sure I might be in love with him.  He could be the one!  I could quit my job and be pushing a baby around Greenlake in a stroller by next summer!

We settled on a coffee shop for our first date.  I arrived, excited and nervous, and spotted him across the room.   It took me a moment to spot him because, to be blunt, he didn’t exactly  look like the guy in the photos I had been wild to meet.  He had the same face, but instead of the chiseled, tan, outdoorsy looking guy I had been expecting, he was older, worn and somewhat soft.  I reprimanded myself for being shallow and judging him on appearance, and sat down to begin our date.  

The conversation unfolded somewhat awkwardly and I felt like I didn’t really know him at all.  He wasn’t as confident or funny in person, and I found myself embarassed by all the personal details I had shared with him.  We hit a lowpoint when he confessed to me that he was a recent graduate of a Dale Carnegie course called “How to Win Friends and Make People Like You”. 

After about an hour (that felt like 10 hours) of labored conversation, I told him that I needed to head out.  We stood up to say goodbye and I found myself awkwardly hugging a guy whose eyes were at the level of my breasts.  This was a bit of a shocker, since in his profile he was 5’10 and I am only 5’6.  We said goodbye.  He asked if he could see me again.  I said, “yes, of course” and then went home and blocked him from further contact. 

It was a cold thing to do, but I was young and didn’t know how to gracefully tell him that he misled me and he wasn’t anything like his profile and I just wasn’t attracted to him. 

Internet dating hasn’t been the same since.  I know better now and thank him for teaching me a lot of lessons about being a savvy internet dater.


~ by cleanslate2010 on January 6, 2010.

One Response to “Ghosts of Dates Past #1 (in which I write about failed attempts at dating from my past)”

  1. […] on the other hand, i don’t want to email back and forth for months and then meet the guy and find out there is nothing there.  i’ve done that before.  (read more about that here) […]

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