50 First Dates

Okay, so I don’t really have 50 first dates coming up (we’ll see where I’m at later this year though!), but I do have 4 first dates this weekend.   I’m not sure how this ended up happening, but there you have it.  The way I look at it, first dates from online dating sites are more like screening dates to find out if you’d actually want to have a real date with the person.  

I’m meeting the first guy for lunch tomorrow, another guy for drinks in the evening, and then on Sunday I’ve got a coffee date and a happy hour lined up. 

So how do decide if a first date is good and you want to see the guy again?  I suspect that in the past I have been too fast to dismiss some folks, so I’m trying to stay open to going out with folks, even if there isn’t crazy attraction right away.  On the other hand, I don’t want to settle and go out with a dude I’m not attracted to, just for the sake of having a date.  At school (for those who don’t know me, I am a teacher!), I use a tool called a rubric, to assess student work.  I’m thinking of using a similar form to keep track of how my dates go this weekend.  Here is what I came up with. 

I’ve come up with five scientific categories to help me decide whether each guy might be a good match. 

1.  Long term potential – is this guy a grown up?  is he planning on staying in the general geographic area for a while?  does he have a job? 

2.  Good manners –  is he a good listener?  did he take initiative in planning the date?  did he pick up the tab or split it in a way that wasn’t awkward?  was he nice to people/dogs/babies/waitresses etc.?

3.  Physical attraction – do i want to make out with this person at some point?  does he have good hygiene? 

4.  Sense of humor – did we laugh at all?  does he understand my humor?

5.  Conversation – did we have stuff to talk about?  did the conversation flow easily? 

Here is the chart I made up:

  Long Term Potential Sense of Humor Good Manners Conversation Physical Attraction Total First Date Score
Date 1            
Date 2            
Date 3            
Date 4            

Check back to see how my dates turned out!  I will give each guy a score of 1-5 (1 – fails to meet expectations through 5 – outstanding)  in each category and we’ll see what happens.  This might be a horrible idea, but it does give me a project to think about instead of focusing on how awkward first dates can be.


~ by cleanslate2010 on January 23, 2010.

3 Responses to “50 First Dates”

  1. Hello CleanSlate!
    yeah welcome to the internet dating world. you know my blog, Sexagenarian and the City, because it’s on yr blogroll. have you read my archives? many of my dates were totally whacky, and others actually led to Relationships. you don’t say anywhere what city (it is a city?) you live in….i’m wondering.

    as for the subject of this post, i just based my decision on intuition. i knew without calibrating whether i wanted to see the guy again. a lot of the men i met at the beginning — and i met 57 before i met Funny Guy, who has been living with me since the beginning of August 2009 — struck me as great friends /cousins / next-door neighbors, but not beloveds. others were disasters i couldn’t wait to post about. and others — well, it’s all, or mostly, in the blog.

    anyway, i’d love to know where you are which dating sites you’re on and how old you are, IF you care to reveal that.

    good luck and can’t wait to hear about this weekend’s dates.

    mimi of http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com

    • hi mimi! thanks for checking out my blog. i am 33 and live in Seattle. on my ‘to do’ list is an about me tab. i’ve been enjoying reading a lot of other dating blogs and do enjoy yours. it seems like there are quite a few dating blogs coming out of NY. i haven’t read all of your archives yet, but will definitely check them out.

      i’ve been on a lot of first dates before, and think i dismiss folks too quickly. i’m not too serious about ranking them, but it seems like an entertainging idea. 🙂

      thanks again for checking out my blog!

  2. I love your spreadsheet-like rating form. I might have to try that out myself. I say use your intuition when deciding on second dates. I feel that when you talk online and then you switch it up to the phone or another form of communication…you should automatically know if there is a connection…at least a big enough connection to figure out if there is 2nd date potential.

    I don’t know…everyone is different. Stick to you gut and enjoy!


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