Weekend Update

I am starting to feel like I am not second date material.  Or the guys I’m meeting on match.com aren’t second date material.  I have to confess that after a seemingly endless string of first dates, I haven’t gone on a single second date.

The strange thing is, i’m not particularly upset about this.  I have met some perfectly nice men, but I haven’t once found myself at home wondering if someone was going to call or text me.    Except for the worst date ever from last weekend (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?) who I decidedly did not want to see again, I have felt completely ambivalent about all the guys I have met. 

This Saturday was a typical example.  I met up with a guy I will call The Texan at this adorable café near my apartment:

The Texan, like all good southern boys, was friendly and polite.  He paid for my lunch, picked up water and place settings for us and let me choose a seat.  Physically, I found him pretty attractive; tall, bright eyes, warm smile. (I’m trying to behave right now and not mention his horrible haircut, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway.  He has a bad haircut and needs a new style.  Not a deal breaker, but definitely something I noticed).  Conversation went along fine and an hour and a half had quickly gone by.  The Texan enjoys a lot of the same activities as me (riding bikes, drinking beer, playing ping-pong, reading books, looking at art etc.) and seemed smart and well-traveled. 

All in all, it was a successful first date.  There was only one awkward moment, toward the end of our conversation, where he asked what I was up to for the rest of the day.  I said I was going to take my dog out for a run and wasn’t sure what I was doing after that.  I asked him what he was up to and he replied, “actually, I’m meeting someone else in about a half-hour.  Should I call you later this week?”.  I said, “sure” and we went our separate ways. 

The way he mentioned that he had plans to meet someone else sounded to me like he had scheduled another date right after ours.  Just like the bad haircut, this wasn’t a deal breaker for me.  I haven’t liked a lot of the people I’ve met online, and am positive many others have had similar experiences.   It seems that the logical way to be successful is to meet a ton of people and hope that one of them is a good match.   He also might have just had plans with some friends.  Who knows. 

So far, there is no shortage of men wanting to go on first dates with me.  I am still emailing with quite a few guys and have one date lined up for later this week and am supposed to go out with Young Paul McCartney again as soon as he returns from his vacation in sunny Mexico.  The thing is, I am not online dating for the sake of going out on a million first dates.  I sincerely hope, that at some point, the universe will send somebody my way that I really, really want to call me after a date.

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~ by cleanslate2010 on February 1, 2010.

3 Responses to “Weekend Update”

  1. CS, if it’s any comfort to you, last winter, between the end of one relationship (19 jan, the day before obama’s inauguration) and the beginning of the next (i met Funny Guy, who lives with me, on 10 may), ** i had no second dates.** i’m too tired at this moment to look up how many first-dates i had in that period, but probably about 15 or so.

    And of my 57 first dates over a period of not quite 3 years (and subtract about 15 months of that for serious relationships), about 15 altogether led to second dates. in some cases they didn’t ask me, and in other cases i said no thank you to second dates.

    so those are my stats, approx.

    the moral: just keep your numbers up. keep on dating.

  2. I just looked up my numbers for 2009: I had 30 first dates, and 11 of those went on to second dates and beyond. Three of those guys lasted a month or more.

    Of my 4 first dates for 2010, only one went beyond the first date… interestingly, he’s the guy who stood me up last night…!

    Good luck! It’s totally a numbers game. All it takes is one.

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