A Second Date!

It finally happened.  I went on a second date.  There may even be a 3rd in the works, although, honestly, I’m not that enamored with the guy.   Here is why.

Date #1Prep-school Teacher and I met up for tea at a chic little café he suggested:

(photo fromhttp://kevin-guerin.com/pleaseblowmymind/)

I was impressed with the location suggestion, especially since it is only 3 blocks from my apartment.   So we met, we had tea, we talked.  He is cute in a nerdy sort of way and very smart.   He seemed a bit on the serious side, but a sense of humor was beginning to emerge toward the end of our conversation. 

I was feeling completely ambivalent about him, until, just as we were getting ready to go, he asked me very directly, “would you like to go out again later this week?”.  All of a sudden my interest was piqued.  Too many men throw out invites that sound like this (especially here in Seattle where passive-agressiveness is a way of life), “We could hang out again or something maybe if you think or we don’t have to or I could call you or maybe we could text or something”.   We agreed on a time, I suggested a place and that was that.  No wondering if he would call, or if I should call, or if I even cared if he called etc.

Date #2:  We met up for dinner at a restaurant, also just a few blocks from my apartment (what can I say, I’m lazy).  We ordered food and beers.  He dressed up a bit which I thought was nice.  We talked.  We ate good food.  We ordered a second drink and talked some more.  The server dropped off our check.  We continued nursing our beers.   When it was getting late, I mentioned that I needed to head home and get to bed (I can’t stay out late on school nights).   I jumped up and used the restroom.  

I was hoping he would take some initiative with the check, but when I returned it was still lying there untouched.  He got up to use the restroom.  I didn’t touch the check.  He came back and finished his beer.  Finally, a couple minutes after our beers were gone and I was sitting there chewing on the ice cubes left in my water-glass, I said, “well, should we just split up the tab?”   I don’t mind paying my share of a check, but I was irritated that he was just sitting there waiting for me to deal with it.   We finally squared it away and said good night. 

I texted him the next day to say thank you for meeting up.  Besides the awkward bit with the check at the end, it had been a nice evening.  Anyway – he called me on Saturday and left a message saying he got my text and would love to go out again.  I think he thought my text was an invitation for a date.  He asked me to call back and let him know what I had in mind.  Apparently my communication skills aren’t as good as I think.  The only reason I was interested in a 2nd date, was that he was so direct about asking me out and all of our communication since then has been impossibly indirect.  Good grief.  I need to call him back today.  I didn’t want to call him on Valentine’s Day.  I don’t feel like putting a lot of effort into planning a date with a guy I am not even sure if I am very interested in.   We’ll see what happens :S

In other news, I have a date with a Professor from New York on Tuesday.  He is here on sabbatical for the year, and is probably going back to NY in September.  I’m excited to meet him.  He suggested happy hour at a bar I’ve never been to downtown.  He is a bit older (40!) and his emails have been witty and smart. 



~ by cleanslate2010 on February 15, 2010.

4 Responses to “A Second Date!”

  1. Well if you don’t feel the spark with that guy it’s probably not worth going on a third date… By the second date you should know if you want to know more about him or not I guess.

  2. Don’t worry about the older guy thing, as long as he doesn’t look old and grizzled he’s still partially mentally 12. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s what I’ve learned in my own LTR.

  3. Oh, and Phil thinks that he just got nervous with the whole check thing, he wants to impress you and not do the wrong thing. Only, he didn’t know what the wrong thing was, so, well, he did nothing. That way he couldn’t possiby do the wrong thing.

  4. I agree with Dark Cloud Nine…if there’s no spark, there’s no spark. Do you want him to rip your pants off at some point? Do you want to rip off his pants? I’m not saying that someone can’t grow on you, or that your feelings for someone won’t develop over time, but really, at the heart of attraction, so much boils down to pants. Or lack thereof.

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