Ghosts of Dates Past – the New Yorker

I went kayaking on Lake Union today (which if you’ve read the awesome Twilight series, you might have heard of, although Stephenie Meyer didn’t research it well and calls it *Union Lake* which I find reprehensible) and was reminded of a guy I dated a while back.

Two summers ago, I met a guy on match.com that I will refer to as the New Yorker (I have to preface this with the fact that I adore New York and I loved all of the folks I met last time I visited the city).  the New Yorker moved to Seattle a few years ago for a teaching job.  On our first date, we went out to happy hour at a pub near both of our apartments and had a decent conversation.  I found him intelligent and interesting and just a tiny bit arrogant, but not in a bad way.  He did say one thing that bothered me though.  I mentioned living in a small town at one point, and how I was happy to be living in the city (Seattle) again.  He looked at me and rolled his eyes a little and in said in a condascending tone, “Teri, Seattle isnt a city” .  This should have been a clue that I would find more personality defects down the line, but I saw enough that I liked so when he suggested we go out again, I agreed. 

Date two was interesting.  We had plans to do something outside but it ended up pouring down rain so we decided to stay indoors and play scrabble instead.  This was my idea.   He had asked me out both times, but I had planned both of the actual dates.  I have a lot of ideas so this didn’t really bother me.  The scrabble was fun, he was a good match and beat me, but his condascending tone came up a couple of times.  He predicted he would beat me before we even started to play and described himself as a scrabble strategy expert.  Vomit.  He offered to give me some pointers to make me more competitive.  I am both smart and competitive and was offended by his arrogance.

Why I agreed to go out with him a third time I can’t really remember.   Again, he didn’t really have any ideas about what we could do so I suggested kayaking and dinner at Agua Verde a cafe/paddle club.  We met up at the dock and walked up to the counter to ask for our kayaks.  The dude who runs the kayak shop asked us if we wanted singles or a double, and my date asked for a double.  I preferred singles and kayaking was MY idea but he didn’t even ask for my opinion.  Next we were asked where we were paddling to, and my date, again without even glancing at me to see if I had an opinion, answered that we would be paddling to Gasworks Park.  I had planned to go the opposite direction and cruise around in the arboretum, but I decided I would go with the flow. 

So then we are on the dock and the guy helping us into the boat asks us who wants to steer and of course the New Yorker wants to be in control and steer.  I was a little put off by this, but again, let him take the lead.

It turns out that being stuck in a boat with someone is a great way to find out if you’re compatible.  My gut feeling that maybe I wasn’t compatible with this guy was quickly confirmed once we paddled off into the sunset.  About 20 yards after pushing off from the dock the New Yorker asked me which pedal he needed to push to turn right.  Turns out he didn’t know how to steer a kayak.  I was already irritated by the fact that he was being so controlling, but to find out he didn’t even have a clue what he was doing REALLY pissed me off.

We continued along, paddling through the canal and onto the lake.  About 2 minutes into the paddle, he started pointing out Seattle landmarks to me.  This was awfully rich, considering the fact that he had insulted Seattle on our first date and that I grew up in Seattle and know a lot more than him about everything we were looking at!  I reminded him of this fact, but I don’t think he heard me.  I think he just liked listening to himself talk. 

So then, when I was thinking the date couldn’t get much more miserable, a speed boat went by creating a wake that made the kayak rock.  He screamed like a little girl because he didn’t realize kayaks were so unstable.  Isnapped that if he had let me steer, I would have known how to control the boat better and we wouldn’t be rocking so much.  In response to this he decided to sulk and give me the silent treatment. 

I was irate at this point and decided to give the boat a little rock on purpose.  I knew we wouldn’t tip, but I was hoping he would scream like a girl again, purely for my own amusement.  As soon as I rocked the boat, he screamed at me and couldn’t believe I had done something on purpose that I knew would scare him.  He then proceeded to take his paddle and splash me a couple of times, soaking me to the skin.   I couldn’t believe I was on a date with a grown man who had first sulked and then thrown a full scale temper tantrum.

Eventually we made it back to the dock and turned in our kayak.  He looked at me like nothing had happened and innocently asked if I would like to get dinner.  I told him that no, I would not like to get dinner since sitting around in wet pants eating tacos didn’t really sound like fun.  He offered to drive me home.  I told him I wanted to walk.  And I never went out with the New Yorker again.

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~ by cleanslate2010 on June 6, 2010.

2 Responses to “Ghosts of Dates Past – the New Yorker”

  1. Welcome back!

    And ACK what a dillhole … but great blog fodder!

  2. You know, I thought we were all supposed to be on our best behavior the first few weeks of a new relationship. Guess this guy didn’t get that memo?

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